And to Think It All Started with a Baseball by Sammi M.
"Simon, Rafe and Brown seem to be having the hardest time accepting what just happened. Do you think I should go over and try to help them?" Jim asked Naomi as she glanced at the larger group.
The elder Sandburg placed her hand on his arm for reassurance. "I don't think you have anything to worry about. They all seem like reasonable men; I'm sure they'll come to accept things. We just have to give them space to do so.
"Besides, Megan, Joel and Daryl seem pretty close to understanding. If the others have any problems, they'll be there to help." She eyed the tall man and almost seemed nervous. "I don't want you to take this the wrong way and I sincerely apologise ahead of time for any misjudgements on my part but I am simply amazed at *your* acceptance of all this. From what I've witnessed of you and things that Blair has let slip, I never would have thought you'd be receptive to our belief in destiny."
Jim gave her a hesitant smile. "How can I take offence when it shocked me as well?" He ran his hand through his dwindling hair and shrugged. "Chalk it up to your son's influence. Since I've been around him, I've been privy to a lot of things and he's helped me to open my eyes to more than black-and-white." Chuckling, "In going with the theme of today, I guess you could say he's been 'training' me for this moment. All of his talk of predestination finally clicked when he handed me that bat and I suddenly realised that everything he'd been through, everything he'd survived was so that we could do the things we were doing now. I could no longer look at our first meeting as pure luck it would have belittled everything that happened before and everything that's happened since." With a determined look in his eyes, "And I refused to do that to our friendship."
With those words, a transformation seemed to come over Naomi. If Jim had mistakenly believed that the woman was an open book, he knew, then, he'd only been seeing the front page. As her smile grew, the older Sandburg gave him his first glimpse of her soul and he could suddenly see how blessed his friend had been to have her for a mother. "If I still had any doubts about you, which I didn't well, not really, I don't have any more. My son is very lucky to have you in his life." Grabbing Schuy's hand as well as Jim's, "We all are and I have no more fears about you not watching out for him. I know that you'll do everything possible to keep him safe and well." She kissed his cheek. "You have my blessing, Jim - not that I'm sure you really needed it."
The big detective almost seemed to stand straighter as if a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders and for the second time in so many hours, a watery glaze came over his eyes. As reverently as he could, he took her in his arms and hugged the woman that had unofficially adopted him. "Thank you, Naomi. I hadn't realised exactly how much I really did need it."
They stood there for several minutes until a throat cleared softly behind them. "Sorry to interrupt the family moment, but we were wondering if you knew how much longer they were going to hold Sandburg." Simon seemed a bit hesitant. "We I really wanted to say a few things to the kid before we got all caught up in goodbyes."
"I think Robyn mentioned it would only take a few more minutes to clear everything up when she showed us in here," Schuyler answered. "So, it shouldn't be too much longer." She smiled at the captain. "You doing better now?"
"Hell no." He chomped on the cigar that he'd been dying to light but couldn't. "My nice little almost-perfect world has been knocked flat on its ass today and I have Sandburg to blame for it as usual." Simon nodded and chuckled a second, "But, I'm dealing with it."
"That's good, Simon. I'd hate to think that anything about my life had caused you stress." Blair commented as he walked into the room with Becky and Robyn behind him. "Not that it's anything new with us."
"Welcome back, Chief. We were just about to send a search party out for you." The Blessed Protector in Ellison sprang forth as he checked out his Guide. "You okay?"
The imp winked at his friend. "I would be great if I hadn't just walked in to find you and Naomi in a questionable position." Eyeing the older man, "Need I remind you, man, that is my mother you're embracing."
"And need I remind you, Blair David Sandburg, that I have several years on you and that I may hug whomever I please. If that includes my other son, though I'm not actually old enough to be his mother, then so be it." She released Jim with another squeeze and moved to embrace Blair. "You did good, baby. I am so proud of you."
"Thanks, Mom." With one arm still wrapped around his mother's waist, he turned to include the whole group as they moved closer. "And thank all of you. Though each Ceremony is different depending on the person it's for, you guys really made mine something special. I don't think I can ever tell you how much. You guys helped give me my closure and I'll forever be thankful for all of your friendships." With that said, the sparkle in his eyes returned to vibrant life and he grinned. "So, now that it's all over, I say let's eat! I am so like starving."
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@"She's what?"
"You heard me. She's flying out in a few minutes for Tokyo."
"But why?"
"Well, from what I got from her after Megan told me she was leaving, Schuy's running."
Blair sighed and shook his head, "Cause of what I said to her."
Jim grasped his friend's shoulder with companionable strength. "I don't think that's the main reason, but it is one of them."
"This isn't right."
"I know, but I got the feeling this was what she thought she had to do. I think she did some soul-searching last night as well. She seemed determined before we went in."
The younger man perked up a bit as he realised something, "Then this was all before the Ceremony and the whole doll thing. I'm sure now she knows I wasn't really lashing out at her. She's probably cancelling her flight as we speak."
"I hope you're right, Chief for both of your sakes. I don't think a couple of thousand miles of distance would help things."
Blair nodded absentmindedly as he perused the room for his sister. Though he couldn't shake the bad feeling he had, he hoped things had changed since Jim's earlier talk with the girl. He finally caught a glimpse of her as she returned to the elegant, but comfortable reception area. "There she is." He looked up at his companion and gave him a hopeful smile. "I'm gonna go talk to her and make sure things are clear between us."
"You want me to go with you?"
"I think I can handle it, big guy." His eyes lost a little of the hope they'd been harbouring. "But just in case, be close by."
"If she decks you, I'll be close enough that you won't hit the floor," Jim offered with a grin.
"That didn't help, man. We have really got to work on your assurances."
The detective pushed his friend forward a bit, "Just get over there, Sandburg. Time waits for no man - not even you."
Sandburg started walking over to the spot where Schuyler stood talking to Megan. He could feel Jim close, but not too close, behind him as he walked up beside the women. "I don't mean to intrude, but could I pull my sister away for a minute, Megan?"
"No worries, Sandy. Who am I to stand in the way of a little sibling chat." She caught a glimpse of Jim not too far away talking to Naomi. "In fact, this will give me the perfect opportunity to go over with Ellison what we're going to do to Simon on the way back." Conspiratorially, "I think he was wanting to use the bat in our mission to keep the captain on his toes."
Schuyler groaned and rolled her eyes, "When he finds out you guys have been leading him on, Australia won't be far enough to escape his wrath."
Megan laughed, "I know, but this is just too yummy to pass up." She grabbed Schuy's hand and gave her a slight squeeze before releasing it. "I'll see you when you get back. Call me."
"I will. Bye." She watched as her new friend headed over to join the others and then turned back to the man in front of her. "I was really impressed with what you did in the Ceremony. Yours was like totally different from the one I remembered."
"Good. No one can say I'm not original." He took a deep breath. "So, what was all of that with Megan?"
"Don't pretend you don't know cause I heard Jim telling you when I was out using the phone."
A small smile started working its way onto Blair's face. "Then you did call. Oh, you don't know what a relief that is. After Jim told me about your trip, I was panicked you were still going to go. I can't tell you how happy I am that you're not going."
"My plane leaves in an hour, Blair."
"What?"
"I'm leaving in an hour for Tokyo," she whispered sadly.
Blair couldn't believe what he was hearing as he shook his head, "No. You can't still be going. I mean, what about the doll and and everything that happened. I thought you'd forgiven me for that."
"I forgave you for last night as soon as I walked out the door. Sooner even because there wasn't really anything to forgive." She took a deep breath. "I knew you were hurting and I knew it wasn't really me you were angry about."
"Then why are you still leaving?"
Schuy gave a little laugh that sounded more like a sob. "Well, for one thing, I promised that I'd help a friend of a friend with his security system and because he's been so wonderful to me I don't want him to lose face." Wet grey eyes met confused blue ones. "For the other, I think we need some time apart."
Blair shook his head, "No, we don't. Everything's going to be just like it was before."
"But it shouldn't, HB."
"I don't understand. Why shouldn't it? Things were great."
"No, they were like how they usually were." Trying to explain, "Something bad happened and rather than me dealing with it on my own, I ran back home to you cause I knew you'd be my big brother and make it all go away - my typical M.O. I relied too much on you to make my world better and that shouldn't be anyone else's job but my own." She sighed as she looked up towards the ceiling, hoping for strength to get through this. "You have never lied to me and though you weren't really angry at *me*, the words were yours."
"Not I don't really "
"It's okay." Returning her eyes to his, she gave him a teary smile. "I did a lot of thinking last night and I realised I had been putting a lot on you and that it wasn't fair to you. There are a lot of things I haven't dealt with proof of that is my therapist is on retainer. Part of my problem is that I don't have to deal with them as long as I'm here with you and Jim. You take the burdens on just like you always did and I don't have to worry about or fear anything. As wonderful as it is, it's not right - and I need to figure out how to make it right."
"But, Tokyo. That seems so far to go." Grabbing her hands. "Can't you just stay here and lock yourself up in your fortress and figure it out? Do you have to put an ocean between us?"
Pulling one of her hands free and cupping his cheek, "Tell me those weren't your honest feelings last night not with the anger, but just with the words and I'll stay. Like I said, you've never lied to me and if you can honestly tell me that all of that was the frustration of being back here, then I'll postpone my plans."
Blair lowered his eyes as he looked inward. "*Most* of it *was* from the feelings of helplessness this place brought back."
Schuyler closed her eyes and released a shaky breath, "Most." Wiping the tears away, "Well, I promise to scour the whole nation for the best postcards for you. I know how much you like the Japanese landscapes. Maybe I'll bring back a sword for Jim. Aggressive types like him really like that kind of stuff." Her voice cracked as she opened her eyes, tilting her head just a bit. "I'd, umm, better go. The sooner I get there, the sooner I can sleep off the jet lag." Bringing the hand she still held up to her mouth to kiss it. "I love you, HB. No matter what, that won't change."
As she turned to leave, Blair refused to release the hand, "Don't go."
Gently, she pulled her hand free and gave him a thoughtful look, "Shiyoganai, Blair. Shiyoganai."
From his place beside Naomi, Jim watched as the girl left and Blair seemed to deflate. His protective mode flared to life at the sight of his friend hurting, but before he could move, Naomi grabbed his arm in a restraining hold. "You should give him a few minutes."
The detective nodded but kept his eye on the younger man. "He was really hoping she wouldn't go and they'd be able to work this all out, but it looks like " He turned curious eyes onto the older woman. "What did it mean?"
"What did what mean?"
"Right before Schuy left, she said something to him. It sounded like, shogun-eye."
For a moment, Naomi looked confused until she realised what he was trying to say. "Oh, shiyoganai. It's a Japanese term that literally means 'let's do' and 'does not or cannot exist'. Together, it means it can't be helped; it's inevitable..." She smiled a sad little smile that said so much about what a mother feels when her children are in pain. "She was telling him that she had to go."
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@Like any good leader, Simon knew when his people needed a little time to work things out and during those times he could always be counted on to run interference.
This was one of those times.
Without any words being exchanged, the captain diverted all attention from his detective and observer by telling stories of days gone by. If Jim hadn't been so focused on his friend, he might have turned ten different shades of red but what was a little embarrassment when someone you cared about was hurting.
"Talk to me, Chief."
Blair shrugged, "What's there to talk about? She's gone."
"She'll be back."
"You think?" The younger man chuckled, but the humour had no depth. "I saw her eyes, Jim. I'm not too sure." He whispered knowing that his Sentinel could hear it, "It was just like last time."
"Like last time? This has happened before?"
"Not this, but " Blair looked up at his friend. "Didn't you ever wonder why since we were so close, we weren't around each other all the time? Well, I sort of demanded that she attend Rainier and she basically told me to go get stuffed. That wasn't the answer I wanted to hear considering I was doing this so I could basically keep her safe, so I used the little clout I had and got her accepted without her applying." A small smile touched his lips. "When she got the acceptance letter, she lost it and let me have it. She then proceeded to tell me she was going to school as far away from me as possible. Which she did, and, except for a few one or two-day meets, she didn't come back home until we found her at the loft - a little over six years later, man." Knowingly, "It was in her eyes then, as well."
Jim shook his head in denial. "No, it's not going to be like that this time. She has a business to run and people who depend on her - not to mention us. She's not gonna stay away."
Trusting his friend to be right, Blair couldn't keep the hope out of his voice even as he teased him. "And I suppose your superior detective instincts told you so."
"As a matter of fact, Darwin, they did." Ruffling his friend's hair, "And you should show some respect for those detective instincts they've pulled your butt out of the fire enough."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever."
While the two friends enjoyed their camaraderie, Becky and Robyn decided now was as good as time as any to make their move.
"Things better in the Sandburg-Ellison world?" Becky asked.
Blair turned laughing eyes to his counsellor of old and winked, "Not perfect, but liveable."
"Glad to hear it. After everything you've been through, I'd expect nothing less." Glancing at the larger group that surrounded Captain Banks. "We thought we'd take this quiet time to say our goodbyes."
Robyn snorted, "Yeah, right. Becks just wanted her opportunity to get two gorgeous men relatively alone."
The Director glared at her taller companion, "Keep it up and I'm going to announce to the whole Centre how old you're going to be on your next birthday." Seeing that her long-time friend was now subdued, Becky returned her attention to the men in front of her. "It's been an interesting couple of days ones that I wouldn't trade for anything." Looking straight at Blair, "No matter what happened that day long ago, I'm just thankful you made it and that you came back." Moving closer to him, "You became that man I always knew you would be and I am so happy the world is going to get the chance to see just how wonderful you are."
Robyn's eyes danced with merriment as she added, "What she said only double for me because I have more style."
Blair laughed and shook his head as he hugged and kissed both women. "You two are incorrigible." He smiled as he pulled away, "Don't either of you ever change. There are a lot more kids out there that need you just the way you are to make it. Promise me they'll have that chance."
The taller woman ruffled his hair a bit and smiled with watery eyes, "As long as there's life in these old bodies and there's a possibility we get another like you, it's an easy promise to keep." She gave him a faux-leer. "Take care of that great body and we'll keep in touch."
Her friend could only laugh at the doctor's comment, "I just can't take her anywhere and you want me to subject future generations to her? Poor kids."
Jim moved closer and also hugged and kissed the surprised women. "I'd say lucky kids." Grasping a hand from each, "Thank you."
"For what?"
"For keeping him going so that he could find me. For that, I owe you for a lifetime."
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@"Okay, Chief," Jim commented as he opened the door to the loft, "I'll concede Megan's and my performance on the way home was a little over the top, but you've got to give me points for the look of joy on Simon's face when he had to mediate. The man was in heaven he lives for that stuff."
"Yeah and when he finds out you guys have been playing him, he's gonna live all up and down your and Megan's heads."
Watching his partner drop his stuff off in his room, the older man dropped his at the foot of the stairs. "Well, we're not going to keep this up much longer. It's starting to get old and Megan's not that great an actress."
"Like you could win any Academy Awards."
"I'll have you know I'm a pretty good actor. I was always getting raves in Vice."
Blair guffawed, "That's because you only had to play one role with different variations." He ticked them off on his fingers. "Pissed-off pimp. Pissed-off drug dealer. Pissed-off mobster. Oh, and let's not forget the highly touted pissed-off adult film director." Using his best totally femme voice, "Darling, it was your best work. The only way you would have done better was if you dropped your pants and took on the action." Batting his eyelashes and giving Jim a coy look he added, "You would have been assured an award for that."
Before the young observer knew what hit him, the buff detective had him on the sofa at the mercy of his threatening hand. "Admit I'm a good actor or suffer the consequences."
"No! I cannot tell a lie today!" Blair yelled refusing to show fear in the face of such danger.
A totally evil smile graced the larger man's face as he brought his hand down right below his prisoner's ribs and started tickling him. "So be it, Sandburg!"
Blair started laughing and squirming as the unmerciful hands seemed to go everywhere at unbelievable speeds. "Stop, Jim Stop, man Oh god, please! You're killing me!
"Say I'm a good actor."
"I can't," Blair squeaked. "I act better than you in my sleep. In fact, I've seen corpses with more talent."
"Oh, speaking of, you are so dead!"
The onslaught continued as tears flowed down the smaller man's cheeks while he laughed himself silly, "Come on, man . Cut me some slack! Jim. I can't breathe!"
"Tough. Since you're so talented, *act* like you're breathing."
"Aww, man, I gotta go!"
"Say I'm a good actor and your bladder will thank you."
"Okay! Uncle! Uncleuncleuncleuncleuncle!"
Jim stopped the torture and eyed the oh-so sensitive one below him, "Uncle what, Sandburg? Better make it quick; my fingers are just itching to go back to where they left off."
Trying to catch his breath, Blair held up a hand in a placating manner and wheezed, "You're a good actor." He paused for more air. "In fact, you're a *great* actor the best ever."
Ellison stood and gifted his friend with the most irritatingly smug look possible, "Why thank you, Blair. That means a lot to me coming from you."
"Yeah, I bet."
"What was that?" Jim asked as he wiggled his fingers.
"I said you're the best yet."
"That's what I thought." Jim chuckled at Blair's antics as he made his way to the fridge and opened it, "Say, Sandburg, you didn't by any chance grab some of that food from the RV cause the cupboard is bare"
"Sorry man. My mind was only on getting home to the loft and a hot shower." Glancing over the back of the sofa. "I've been having a taste for Thai lately."
"But they don't deliver."
"Your point?" Blair put on his best begging face. "I'd go myself, but for some reason my stomach muscles are all spasm-y." He aimed for the man's true weakness. "You know if you were wanting something, nothing would stop *me* from getting it for *you*."
Jim rolled his eyes dramatically before heading to his jacket and putting it on, "All right already. I'll go, but you better have finished with your shower by the time I get back cause I'm gonna be ready for my turn." He grabbed his keys and opened the door. "Behave yourself while I'm gone, Sandburg."
As the door closed behind his partner, Blair began a silent countdown from a hundred. When he finally reached one, he quickly stood and headed for his room. Moving stealthily between two rooms in the loft, the anthropologist set in motion the plan that had been brewing in his head since that morning.
By the time Jim returned with the food, Blair had finished his shower and was waiting nervously in his room.
Noticing the racing heartbeat, the Sentinel knocked at the French doors. "You okay, Sandburg?"
"I'm fine, Jim, just thinking about stuff. Nothing to worry about, big guy."
"Well, the food's on the table whenever you're ready. I'm gonna grab some things upstairs and head for my shower." As an afterthought, "Don't go greedy on me. I'm expecting some pretty healthy portions when I finish my shower."
Blair rolled his eyes, "Just go take your shower. There'll be enough of something left."
The loft seemed to suddenly echo with Jim's every move as he grabbed his stuff and headed upstairs. Previously quiet stairs squeaked with every footfall and the floorboards above seemed almost alive as the detective made his way to his bed and stopped.
For long agonising minutes, Blair couldn't hear a sound and he held his breath hoping that his gift would be accepted. He thought he might have blacked out for lack of oxygen because he never heard his friend return to his door or call to him the first time. By the time he realised Jim was at the door, the larger man was already inside of it and looming over him. "Sandburg, what's this?" He asked as he held out a baseball.
"Well, big guy, it uh kinda looks like a ball."
"I know that, but what was it doing on my bed?"
Blair plastered on his most innocent of smiles and turned his dark-blue eyes full-force onto his friend, "Would you believe the Baseball Fairy left it?"
Jim ignored the smile and the eyes not an easy task for most people, "Not even if Tommy Lasorda showed up now in tights and wings. Try again, Chief."
Putting a little space between himself and his partner, Blair moved around the end of his bed and faced him. "It's not like it's any big deal. I mean, it's just a ball." Not doing a very good job of convincing himself, he sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "This morning, when I was figuring things out, it suddenly hit me how much destiny really played a part in our lives. I mean, yeah the picture kind of screamed cosmic forces, but it still wasn't implanted in stone for me not until I saw the bat." He sighed again. "That's when I realised my gift to you was two-fold and that I had finally come full circle my past to my present and my future. You, Jim." A silent plea passed from one man to the other, asking for understanding. "I mean, what's a bat without a baseball or a friend without someone to share his friendship or "
"A Sentinel without his Shaman," Jim finished. Without thinking about it, the touch-enhanced fingers began to trace the seams. "But why all the drama? Didn't you think I'd accept it just like I did the bat? Didn't you think I'd recognise the importance behind the gift?"
Blair shrugged and gave him a sheepish smile. "After the fuss I put up when I caught it and several days afterwards, I thought for sure your stubbornness and pride wouldn't allow you to accept it. You know how you can be."
Jim conceded the point with a small snort, "Yeah, I know." He quickly moved to his friend's side and placed his hand on the younger man's shoulder. "But that was before I realised how important something as simple as a bat and ball or three years of my best friend's presence can be."
Twin smiles lit up the small room as Destiny played out her hand and found her choices perfect.
Stomachs growling broke the special moment and both men chuckled as they tried to figure out who was hungrier. As they moved out towards the waiting dinner, Jim just couldn't help himself.
"So, Sandburg, now that I have the ball, are you admitting it should have been mine in the first place?"
"No way! It was a fair ball."
"It had my name on it!"
"Yeah, that's why it ended up in my hands."
"You snatched it out of my grasp!"
"Did not!"
"Did so!"
Destiny could only shake her head well, maybe not-so perfect.
THE END!
The Ceremony was an actual event I participated in when I was about eight. A friend of mine's brother was the one in the hot seat. The church they belonged to had a facility similar to what we call a hospice now and they took care of church members who were ill and some community members as well. I always thought the whole concept of the Ceremony from start to finish was cool so I decided to write about it. Each Ceremony is as different as the person who it's for and I saw Blair as more of the giving type rather than the receiving as my friend's brother was.
And yes, they did use coffins though, I never saw a purple one. :-)